No-Bake Chocolate Pie

Or Snettisham's Down and I Really Shouldn't be Turning on my Stove Pie, which is how I will present it to my co-workers when I bring it in to work on Monday. Last month an avalanche knocked down our hydro-electric towers. We are now running on diesel. For the next three to four months, our electric bills are going to be five times higher than normal. We've made national news. We're a model of energy efficiency, apparently. For an entire town to cut it's energy usage that quickly is unprecedented, the energy experts say. You'd live in the dark too, if turning on a light to use the bathroom was going to cost $10. Thankfully the days are getting longer, lightwise, so it's okay that we keep all of the lights off. I really shouldn't be baking. I didn't much care, for awhile. But it costs us 50 cents for each kilowatt hour of electricy we use. According to the wonderful chart the city put out, if I use my oven an hour a day, it's going to cost me $48. I get squeamish at the thought of paying $15 for a dinner entree. I'm not spending $48 just to cook a pie. For my co-workers, no less. But I really need to bake. So Friday night I did an internet search for "no bake" recipes. Hmm. There are lots of gelatin desserts, which I hate. Lots of no bake cookies using oatmeal, which I've had once and thought were nasty. There were lots of variations on buckeyes, the peanut butter candies. Lots and lots of those. The girl at work who doesn't like peanut butter and chocolate will not be amused when I bring those in. I settled on this Easy No-Bake Chocolate Pie I found on Better Recipes. How much clearer can it be, that it won't cost $50 to make. Plus, I could use up a graham cracker pie crust that had been sitting my cabinet for more than a year. I think another good name for this pie would be Sugared Butter Pie or Buttery Sugar Pie, or even Save Yourself Some Time and Eat a Stick of Butter Instead Pie. Because it tasted just like a stick of butter. With some sugar sprinkled on top. And a few chocolate chips tossed in as well for good measure. I feel like this pie is either a very regional recipe, or something you love, love, love if your mom made it while you were growing up. So that you didn't know that pies shouldn't taste only of butter. Or because you're a kid, and you just love eating butter (I was never that kid). It falls into that weird category of food, am I the only person who has this category, somewhere between immediately toss it in the trash and this is not going into the office, it's that good and I want it all for me. You take a bite, think, this isn't so great, but it has an odd something that makes you keep eating it, trying to figure out if you like it or not. Or maybe I just misinterpreted the shrieks of my arteries as they died a slow, buttery death, and thought my mouth wanted more. So, if you happen to find yourself in the middle of a summer-long electrical crisis and just need to bake, I offer this pie. I would omit the chocolate chips mixed in, if you decide to make it. I added peanut butter chips, and couldn't taste them, and it was kind of weird biting into an otherwise creamy filling, only to be met with a jarring chip.

Total Calories: 4336; Servings: 8; Whisks: 1.5. Ingredients: 1 9 inch graham cracker pie crust; 1 cup granulated sugar; 3/4 cup butter, softened; 3 ounces semisweet baking chocolate; 3 eggs; 1 ounce semisweet baking chocolate, grated (I used mini chocolate chips); 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I used peanut butter chips, but really omit them); whipped cream (I didn't use, because this pie was totally not worth it, plus it would've cost $4.16 to whip the cream).

Combine sugar and butter. Beat until fluffy. Melt chocolate in a small saucepan on low heat (I melted in the microwave for 1 minute 30 seconds, much cheaper). Add to butter/sugar mixture. Beat until well combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Fold in chocolate chips. Pour mixture into crust. Top with grated chocolate. Refrigerate pie at least 6 hours before serving. Top with dollops of whipped cream, if you wish.